Cross Cultural Understanding about Family Values

Family Values

Child Rising

Acculturation, which begins at birth, is the process of teaching new generation of children the customs and values of the parents’ culture how people treat newborns, for example can be indicative of cultural values. In the United States it is not uncommon for parents to put newborn in a separate room that belongs only to the child. This helps to preserve parents’ privacy and allows the child to get used to having his on her own room, which is seen as a first step toward personal independence. Americans traditionally have held independence and a closely related value, individualism, in high esteem. Parents try to instill these prevailing values in their children. American English expresses these values value preferences: children should “cut the (umbilical) cord” and an encouraged not to be “tied to their mothers’ apron strings.” In the process of their socialization children learn to “look out for number one and “stand on their own feet.”

Many children are taught at very early age to make decisions and be responsible for their actions. Often children work for money outside the home as a first step to establishing autonomy. Nine or ten year old children may deliver newspapers in their neighborhood and save or spend their earnings. Teenagers (13 to 18 years) may babysit at neighbor homes in order to earn a few dollars a week. Receiving a weekly allowance at an early age teaches children to budget their money, preparing them for future financial independence. Many parents believe that managing money helps children learn responsibility as well as appreciate the value of money.

Young Adulthood

            Upon reaching an appropriate age (usually between 18 and 21 years) children are encouraged, but not forced, to “leave the nest” and begin an independent life. After children leave home they often find social relationships and financial support outside the family. Parents do not arrange marriages for their children, nor do children usually as permission on their parents to get married. Romantic love is most often the basis for marriage in the United States; young adults meet their future spouses trough other friend, at school, at jobs, and in organizations and religious institutions. Although children choose their own spouses, they still hope their parents will approve of their choices.

            In many families, parents feel that children should make major life decisions by themselves. A parent may try to influence a child to follow a particular profession but the child is free to choose another career. Sometimes children do precisely the opposite of what their parents wish in order to assert their independence. A son may deliberately decide not to go into his father’s business because of a fear that he will lose his autonomy in his father’s workplace. This independence from parents is not an indication that parents and children do not love each other. Strong love between and children is universal and this is no exception in the American family. Coexisting with such love in the American family are cultural values of self-reliance and independence.

The Elderly

            Societal and familial treatment of the elderly also reflects this independence and individualism. Their financial support is often provided by social security or welfare systems with decrease dependence on their family Additionally, older people may seek their own friends rather than become too emotionally dependent on their children. Senior citizens centers provide a means for peer-group association within one’s own age group. There are problems, however, with growing old in the United States. Glorification of youth and indifference to the age have left many older people alienated and alone.

            Some families send their older relatives to nursing homes rather than integrate them into the homes of the children or grandchildren. This separation of the elderly from the young has contributed to the isolation of an increasingly large segment of society. On the other hand, there are many older people who choose to live in retirement communities where they have the companionship of other older people and the convenience of many recreational and social activities close to home.

The Nuclear and the Extended Family

            The treatment of the elderly can be further understood by distinguishing between nuclear and extended family structures. In the United states the nuclear family, which consists the father, the mother, and the children, is considered “the family”. The extended family, common in other cultures, includes grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces, and in-laws. The distinction between the nuclear and extended family is important because it suggests the extent of family ties and obligations. In extended families the children and parents have strong ties and obligations to relatives. It is common in these families to support older family members, to have intensive contact with relatives, and to establish communal housing.

            The American nuclear family usually has its own separate residence and is economically independent of other family members. Relatives are still considered “family” but are often outside the basic obligations that people have to their immediate families. When couple marry, they are expected to live independently of their parents and become “heads of households” when they have children. It is not unusual in times of financial need for nuclear family members to borrow money from a bank rather than from relatives. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, then, are not directly involved in the same way as they would be in an extended family structure.

Familiar Roles

            In both nuclear and extended families, the culture imposes roles upon parents. Traditionally the male has been responsible for financial support of the home and family members. The female has often been responsible for emotional support, child raising, and housekeeping. However, among some people in parts of The United States, this parental function are no longer fixed. The prescribed role of man as “bread winner” and the woman as housewife is changing. These changes include working mothers, “ househusband,”  and an increasing number of day care centers of children. Yet, traditional roles maybe preserved  even in households where the wife is working.

            Some mothers work because of a financial need and hot because of a desire to change their role from housewife to breadwinner. Others choose to work because they feel that financial support of the family should be shared by the husband and the wife. Still other are motivated to work because of professional interests and a desire to contribute to society. More than 50 percent of American woman are part of the labor force.

Stability and Change in the Family

            It is almost impossible to describe a “typical American family” because the United States is such a heterogeneous country. Although member of ethnic, racial, or economic groups may assimilate into the educational and employment system of the establishment, they often maintain their cultural heritage within the home. Many families have strong religious which continue to contribute to the preservation of the close-knit extended family. At one time, traditional roles and religion had a much stronger influence on the nuclear family. Now economic conditions, societal attitudes, and job mobility in the United States compete with traditional influences.

            Changes in American family structure are evidenced by increased rates of separation and divorce. In certain areas of the country these trends have resulted in a growing number of “single parent” families re-married parents, communal lifestyles. This doesn’t indicate however, that the institution of marriage is crumbling. It is estimated that four of five divorced couples eventually remarry other people. These shifts in family relationships may be interpreted as a breakdown or alternatively, as an adoption of the America family to changing roles, attitudes and value. The changes, according to the more traditional view point, represent a breakdown in the family structure, a disintegration of values and a decline of morality. Others, who believe it is necessary to adapt to a rapidly changing society, believe these shifts in family structure are inevitable and positive.